Life's Like That......

Okay, so this week was a hard one. It seems like I take a couple steps froward and then a few GIANT leaps back. So of course when I feel down I turn to music and I, surprise, surprise found a Hillary Weeks song that spoke to my soul......

Another day, I'll try again. But can you tell me will the hurting ever end? I've been taught and I believe. I need you by my side. I don't have the strength to make it on my own. Lord, do you hear my prayer? How soon will you answer me?

How many of us feel this way? How many of us have this continual struggle? Sometimes I feel like I will never be whole again. That I will never get past all of this. However, the other half of the song is the answer that speaks to my soul. That tells me I will be okay and I will make it. The Lord answers and says....

I know your weary I know you've had all you can bare and now you ask of me on bended knee I promise I'll be there. I've watched you struggle and yet I can see how much you've grown. Child could you feel my power in your darkest? You were not alone. Be still and know that I am God. I'm by your side, whom shall you fear? I give you strength, my child I am here. There's no prayer that I won't hear lift up your head, my child. I am here!

I know he hears us. I know he hears ME! I now KNOW I am worth it and he will always be there. He takes my hurt and makes it bearable. What a miracle this is. It is a miracle that I am okay. I have faced and am facing one of the hardest things imaginable and with the Lord on my side I will come out on the other end okay! Who says miracles are not around us everywhere?

Jump Rope

My life is like that Blue October song, Life's Like a Jump Rope. Up down, Up down, Life's like a jump rope......That is my life seems full of ups and downs. Lately I have been very stressed and a bit discouraged. Am I making the right choices and how could this all possibly work out? Trying to sell the house and find a place to live that will fit my budget and accept my dog. Things with the kids and how will I survive the summer without a job?
Despite all of this, I am actually happy. This, to me, seems like a small miracle in itself. I think of the the people of Israel in the Old Testament. In the book of Joshua the people of Israel are traveling. Joshua tells them to pay careful attention and follow their leaders because: "ye have not passed this way heretofore" I have definitely not passed this way heretofore.
My assurances can only come from the Lord. There is no one else. No one to answer and assure me. God is great! This may sound trite but He is. He is greater than any problem, discouragement or adversity. I have had to learn to trust that his will is for my good. I know that he knows exactly what I need even when I do not know what I need. Of course there is still hurt, fear and pain but I know his arms are enfolding me and taking away the full pain that I would have to endure otherwise. There is hope in that and for now that has to be enough.

I Made It!

I made it!!!!! Made it through the Holidays. I was worried for a while but I have such great support and love that I made it and I actually enjoyed it! Christmas Eve we went over to the Juassi's and mixed our family traditions. The kids had a ball! Man, do we love those Juassi people. Then it was Christmas. The kids were spoiled (of course) and I spoiled myself. Christmas Day Will came over and watched the kids open presents. After he left with the kids I took a nice nap and a long bath. Then I was able to go over to my surrogate family, the Granges, and hang out with them. I have to say I haven't laughed that hard for a while. I was so worried about the "first" holiday on my own and because of the Savior and all of my friends I made it and even enjoyed it. So Thanks to all of you! We have been very blessed and we feel VERY loved!